Top Four Jokes.

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Fourth Place:

A man bumps into a woman in a hotel lobby and as he does,
his elbow goes into her breast. They are both quite
startled. The man turns to her and says, "Ma'am, if your
heart is as soft as your breast, I know you'll forgive me.."
She replies, "If your penis is as hard as your elbow, I'm in
room 221."


Third Place:

One night, as a couple lays down for bed, the husband starts
rubbing his wife's arm. The wife turns over and says "I'm
sorry honey, I've got a gynecologist appointment tomorrow
and I want to stay fresh. "The husband, rejected, turns
over. A few minutes later, he rolls back over and taps his
wife again. "Do you have a dentist appointment tomorrow
too?"

Runner Up:

Bill worked in a pickle factory. He had been employed there
for a number of years when he came home one day to confess
to his wife that he had a terrible compulsion. He had an
urge to stick his penis into the pickle slicer. His wife
suggested that he should see a sex therapist to talk about
it, but Bill said he would be too embarrassed. He vowed to
overcome the compulsion on his own One day a few weeks later
, Bill came home and his wife could see at once that
something was seriously wrong. What's wrong, Bill?" she
asked. "Do you remember that I told you how I had this
tremendous urge to put my penis into the pickle slicer?"
"Oh, Bill, you didn't" she exclaimed. Yes, I did." he
replied. My God, Bill, what happened?"
"I got fired."
"No, Bill I mean, what happened with the pickle slicer?"
"Oh...she got fired too."


Winner:

A couple had been married for 50 years. They were sitting at
the breakfast table one morning when the wife says, "Just
think, fifty years ago we were sitting here at this
breakfast table together." "I know," the old man said. "We
were probably sitting here naked as a jaybird fifty years
ago." "Well," Granny snickered. "Let's relive some old
times." Where upon, t he two stripped to the buff and sat
down at the table. "You know, honey," the little old lady
breathlessly replied, "My nipples are as hot for you today
as they were fifty years ago." "I wouldn't be surprised,"
replied Gramps. "One's in your coffee and the other is in
your oatmeal."