India and Pakistan recently realized that, if they continued political
tension, they
would some day end up destroying each other. So they sat down
and decided to settle the
whole dispute with a dog fight.
The negotiators agreed that each country would take five years to
develop the best
fighting dog they could. The dog that won the fight would earn its
country the right to
rule Kashmir. The losing side would have to lay down its
arms..
The Pakistanis found the biggest, meanest Dobermans and
Rottweilers in the world. They
bred them together and then crossed their offspring with the
meanest Siberian wolves.
They selected only the biggest, strongest puppy from each litter,
killed all the other
puppies and fed the lone dog all of the milk. They used steroids and
trainers in their
quest for the perfect killing machine, until, after the five years were
up, they had a
dog that needed iron prison bars on his cage. Only the trainers
could handle this
beast.
When the day of the big fight arrived, the Indians showed up with a
strange animal: It
was a nine-foot-long Dachshund.
Everyone felt sorry for the Indians. No one else thought this weird
animal stood a
chance against the growling beast in the
Pakistani camp. The bookies predicted that Pakistan would win in
less than a minute.
The cages were opened. The dachshund waddled toward the centre
of the ring. The
Pakistani dog leapt from his cage and charged the giant wiener-dog.
As he got to within
an inch of the Indian dog, the dachshund opened its jaws and
swallowed the Pakistani
beast in one bite. There was nothing left but a small bit of fur from
the killer dog's
tail.
The Pakistanis approached the Indians, shaking their heads in
disbelief. "We do not
understand. Our top scientists and breeders worked for five years
with the meanest,
biggest Dobermans and Rottweilers. They developed a killing
machine."
"Really?" the Indians replied. "We had our top plastic surgeons
working for five years
to make an alligator look like a
dachshund".
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