New Words for 2011

Blamestorming - Sitting around in a group discussing why a deadline was

missed or a project failed, and who was responsible.

Chainsaw Consultant - An outside expert brought in to reduce the

employee headcount, leaving the top brass with clean hands.

Percussive Maintenance - The fine art of whacking the crap out of an

electronic device to get it to work again.

Uninstalled - Euphemism for being fired. Heard on the voicemail of a vice

president at a downsizing computer firm: "You have reached the number of

an uninstalled vice president. Please dial our main number and ask the

operator for assistance." See also Decruitment.

SITCOMs - What yuppies turn into when they have children and one of

them stops working to stay home with the kids. Stands for Single Income,

Two Children, Oppressive Mortgage.

Starter Marriage - A short-lived first marriage that ends in a divorce with no

kids, no property and no regrets.

Tourists - People who take training classes just to get a vacation from their

jobs. "We had three serious students in the class; the rest were just

tourists."

Alpha Geek - The most knowledgeable, technically proficient person in an

office or work group. "Ask Larry, he's the alpha geek around here."

Dancing Baloney - Little animated GIFs and other Web F/X that are useless

and serve simply to impress clients. "This page is kinda dull. Maybe a little

dancing baloney will help."

Flight Risk - Used to describe employees who are suspected of planning to

leave a company or department soon.

Generica - Features of the American landscape that are exactly the same

no matter where one is. "We were so lost in generica, I actually forgot what

city we were in."

Nyetscape - Nickname for AOL's less-than-full-featured Web browser.

PEBCAK - Tech support shorthand for "Problem Exists Between Chair and

Keyboard." (Techies are a frustrated, often arrogant lot. They've submitted

numerous acronyms and terms that poke fun at the clueless users who call

them up with frighteningly stupid questions. Another variation on the

above is ID10T: "This guy has an ID-Ten-T on his system.")

Square-headed Girlfriend - Another word for a computer. The victim of a

square-headed girlfriend is a "computer widow."