Re-Defined !

>1. Cigarette : A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at one end & a
>fool at the other.
>
>2. Love affairs : Something like cricket where one-day internationals are
>more popular than a five day test.
>
>3. Marriage : It's an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor degree
>and a woman gains her master!
>
>4. Divorce : Future tense of marriage
>
>5. Lecture : An art of transferring information from the notes of the
>lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through "the minds of
>either".
>
>6. Conference : The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.
>
>7. Compromise : The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody
>believes he got the biggest piece.
>
>8. Tears : The hydraulic force by which masculine will-power is defeated by
>feminine water-power ..
>
>9. Dictionary : A place where divorce comes before marriage.
>
>10. Conference Room : A place where everybody talks, nobody listens &
>everybody disagrees later on.
>
>11. Ecstasy : A feeling when you feel you are going to feel a feeling you
>have never felt before.
>
>12. Classic : A book which people praise, but do not read.
>
>13. Smile : A curve that can set a lot of things straight.
>
>14. Office : A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.
>
>15. Yawn : The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.
>
>16. Etc. : A sign to make others believe that you know more than you
>actually do.
>
>17. Committee: Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to
>decide that nothing can be done together.
>
>18. Experience : The name men give to their mistakes.
>
>19. Atom Bomb: An invention to end all inventions.
>
>20. Philosopher : A fool who torments himself during life, to be spoken of
>when dead.
>
>21. Diplomat : A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you
>actually look forward to the trip.
>
>22. Opportunist : A person who starts taking bath if he accidentally falls
>into a river.
>
>23. Optimist : A person who while falling from Eiffel Tower says in midway
>"See I am not injured yet."
>
>24. Pessimist :- A person who says that O is the last letter in ZERO,
>Instead of the first letter in word OPPORTUNITY.
>
>25. Miser : A person who lives poor so that he can die rich.
>
>26. Father : A banker provided by nature.
>
>27. Criminal : A guy no different from the rest... except that he got
>caught.
>
>28. Boss : Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are
>early.
>
>29. Politician : One who shakes your hand before elections and your
>Confidence after.
>
>30. Doctor : A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you with his
>bills.
>
>31. Computer Engineer : One who gets paid for reading such mails......