More Jokes

I dialed a number and got the following recording:** ** "I am not available right now, but Thank you for caring enough to call. I am making some changes in my life. Please leave a message after the Beep. If I do not return your call, You are one of the changes." ************************************************** A small Boy wrote to Santa Claus," send me a brother." Santa wrote back, "SEND ME YOUR MOTHER." ************************************************** What is the definition of Mistress? Someone between the Mister and Mattress. ************************************************** What's the difference between stress, tension and panic?* Stress is when wife is pregnant,* Tension is when girlfriend is pregnant,* and Panic is when both are pregnant.* ************************************************** A woman asks man who is traveling with six children, "Are all these kids yours?"* The man replies, "No, I work in a condom factory and these are customer complaints". ************************************************** A young boy asks his Dad, "What is the difference between confident and confidential?"* Dad says, "You are my son, I'm confident about that. Your friend over there, is also my son, that's confidential." ************************************************** Nominated as the best short joke this year... A three-year-old boy was examining his testicles while taking a bath. Mom" he asked, "are these my brains?" "Not yet," she replied.